Litkicks Message Board Archive

This is a letter I received from

Posted to Utterances




My friend---Bobby the Hinge

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Well, how quick my little new idea got around the internet spy net.
I got an email this morning from no other than the department of
defense,
it was prompted by the white house's knowledge of that email about my
new
kinda bombin'. Honest, how did they get it? There is no fucking
privacy!
Anyway. This very polite and correct announcement was sent to me to
correct all
of the mis-statements about a possible legal UN intervention into Iraq
to enforce the
UN resolutions that Iraq is clearly in violation of.
How did they get hold of my little email, did the satellites take
pictures of my house since then, did that take one at night with me
peeing on the pecan tree before I come into the house?
The very dryly worded email pointed out the following incorrect
statements of mine:
1) It will not cost 6 billion dollars next time George goes out
wilding in the park.
The latest government calculations are that it will cost somewhere
between 100 and 200 billion dollars.
And that is only if Israel doesn't decide to do something to start the
third world war like ethnically cleanse Palestine while we're duking it
out with Sadam. Then we'll be forced to kill every living soul in the
mideast. That will cost a lot more.
2) Stealth B-2 bombers can not possibly make 2 runs a day to Iraq, it
takes 33 hours to there and back for a B-2. But as soon as they reload
the bombs, the crew will take another wad of speed and go again.
The e-mail pointed out that the two bombing raids in one day was the
figure for bombing Panama.
3) The cost of staying in Iraq is not several million a day, this
week's calculation puts it 3.5 billion a month.
These are all published figures kids, I didn't make them up like the
ones in my essay!
I'm so glad to stand corrected, I hate to be the party to spread
rumors.

What the e-mail did not tell me is what is the interest I'm going to
pay
on these charges
George runs up on his Bush vendetta. And they also didn't tell me ho we
got a nazi for
an attorney general.....well I guess there was a lot of shit it didn't
explain. By the way I tried to forward the little e-mail on to my home
box and guess what....can't send it and can't print it. I have heard
that a satellite picture has the resolution to show if you have long
side burns or a mustache, you think they could have found Elvis by now.