Litkicks Message Board Archive

The Washington DC Class Trip

Posted to Utterances

i didn't write this
see reference at end

The Washington DC Class Trip

Tour Guide- Hi kids. Welcome to the White House. Today, you are going ot learn how we are keeping you safe from terror.

45 minutes later.

Tour Guide- So kids, any questions while we wait for Mister President.

Kid #1- OK, so if I think Danny might hit me, it's OK for me to beat him up first, right?

Tour Guide - Well, that's.....

Kid #1- YEAH! Open season! Can I hit him now?

Kid #2- So, to teach Iraq that nuclear weapons are evil, we are going to nuke them?

Tour Guide - Well, that, uh.....

Secret Service guy - Get these kids outta here! Stat!

Tour Guide- Now, this is what's called the "Situation Room" where the President makes super important decisions in the war on whichever.

(voice from Situation Room - France is on Line 1- they say it is urgent)

Kid #2- Is there anyone in there who can tell us where Osama Bin Laden and Mullah Omar are?

Tour Guide- Mullah who? Oh! I mean, let's move on to the National Security Offices. This is where we are preparing to whack Sadd.... er, I mean preparing a reasoned response to UN weapons inspections.

15 minutes later......

Kid #2- Wait a sec... You're telling me that if Saddam says he has the weapons, BAM! We whack 'im. But if he says he doesn't, we say he's lying and BAM!, we whack 'im. Shouldn't we wait until the UN inspectors are finished.

Secret Service guy- Homeland Security, get me the files on a couple of troublemakers. Yeah, the public school files.

Tour Guide- Right. Any last questons?

Kid #1- OK. If my notes are correct, you are saying that we've rejected Intenational Laws to shield our troups who are attacking a country that we are accusing of violating International Laws we say don't apply to us?

(Kids walk back to school bus. #1 says to #2- You know, I still don't feel safer. How about you?)


(This is a story distributed via pamphlet (in comic book panels) at the Washington DC anti-war demonstration, published by the World Federalist Association, 418 7th Street, SE, Washington, DC)