remember things that hurt
I remember in the 8th grade noticing that my lab partner had about a million bruises lining the insides of her legs. I told her "Omigod, you have so many bruises!" and she said "I'm anemic. I forgot my medicine."
Ten years later, I find out she's been molested and abused for years, and I feel like the worst person alive. I tell her I'm so sorry I never knew, that I didn't help. She says I couldn't have known, but I should have. So when I apologize, I know she can't imagine my guilt, just like how I know I can't imagine how much she hurts. Whenever someone tells me feminism is bunk, I think of her.