Litkicks Message Board Archive

i remember my grandmother

Posted to Utterances

she died in '89 at the age of 93

at the end she couldn't move, sit, eat nor drink
and she didn't even recognize us anymore
('good morning, miss', she used to say when i entered her room,
'how very kind of you that you come visiting me'),
but she had kept her humour and the twinkle in her eyes
until the end

she was dehydrating and among strangers (that's how it must have seemed to her), but her jokes hadn't left her, not even in the darkest of hours

she died two days before i left for israel
and i thought i couldn't go, but my family pushed me outa the door - 'go!', they said, 'she would have wanted it'... and i went.

i remember her fondly and with great affection and, yes, pride.

just these days i am reading the letters to her mother which she wrote during the 20's and 30's.
what a woman! what a strength! what an inner power to stay herself even during the darkest of times when it seemed that all humanity was lost... what a humour stronger than terror and fear and desparation

i knew her... and i am grateful for that.

and when i look into the mirror i see features around my mouth that i also see in my father's face... and that i have seen in hers.

what great gifts we humans have to offer each other! and how wonderful when we are able offer and receive them - and what a loss when we deny each other these gifts...

i wish you well, soo and cecil, sending you love and clean green energy... you'll be growing each day as you support bernie on her way back

- for it is a part of your own path.

lots of love to you both.

hugging you firmly