I just don't know (expanded)
You know, why do we obsess about the state of the world? I mean, I was thinking this the other day. The Dalai Lama, he hasn't seen his home in 50 years and he won't ever again before he dies, most likely. His culture is slowly being exterminated. His passive resistance appears to be failing. Yet he is always laughing and smiling and he is a light of hope and compassion and enlightenment in a seemingly dark world. And we bang our heads on the wall over this war and all that goes with it. We want to change the world. The Dalai Lama says he holds no hatred toward the Chinese people. I feel a rage in my soul toward Bush et al. What good does it do to meet hate with hate? Don't we secretly wish to remake the world in our image in the same way Bushco. wishes to remake it in theirs? In some vague way, are we not the pot calling the kettle black? Remember that episode of the Simpsons, where the Mensa people got to run Springfield and made a mess of it? Is that us? Am I just rambling pointlessly here?
I mean, in China, 400,000 people are being relocated because their homes will be flooded by a new reservoir. Children starve and die everywhere. Women are stoned to death for adultery. Injustice is exists the world over. Are we not a little ethnocentric in our outrage?
I understand so much more about how the world works now yet what has it gained me? I know so much about how the world works yet I ignore how myself works, and how that might affect the world.
I'm not claiming ignorance is bliss, and that we should sink into a drugged out ennui with one hand in the bag of dorritos, one eye on 'Friends' and the other on the picture in picture of the bombing of Baghdad. But until you know yourself, how can you know your own motivations are actually for the good and don't just blossom from some deep-seated selfishness? The only thing you can control (for lack of a better word) in this world is yourself, and, if, as Krishnamurti says, 'you are the world', then in understanding yourself you will understand the world and you will see that it can't really be 'controlled' and perhaps you will relax a little.
As I've quoted before, Gary Snyder said, "To do want you want all the time is the easy thing. Knowing what you truly want to do is the hard part."