Litkicks Message Board Archive

d--i-v-o-r-c-e

My father kept himself to himself. His vurnerability locked away where no one could hurt him. My mother kept her nose to the grindstone and did what she had to do. For 16 years she slept next to a man who had lost her love and she had lost his. Friendship they had, love they did not.

The truth is it was all hard- the leaving, the selling of the house, the splitting of dishes. There were so many tears...

It's all different now-both good and bad. Holidays will never be the same. But my parents, they smile a lot more now.

I think my dad is understanding what it's like to be tangible again. Before when he was cut off from the world, he kept himself to a strict schedule. Never really allowing himself to be vurnerable to others, or to anything.

And now, that he's alone, it's almost as if he's alive again. Sure he's that same man who cleans and cleans and has funny little germ-o-phobic tendancies but he's vulnerable,mostly to himself...and really that's where it counts.

I think he's had time to examine himself for who he really is and he's making some changes and also celebrating those changes.

My mom has become a warm woman again. She has felt the flesh to flesh feeling for the first time in years. She's alive again to herself, to her children and to a man who makes her feel. Which she didn't allow herself to do for so long.

She's travelling, she's conquering greif and guilt and getting on with her life the way SHE wants it to be and she's planning for the future. HER FUTURE.

It's good. And even when it's bad it's good because going through the bad can teach you much about yourself. It's nice to be able to see that in someone and then have that someone be your parents.