Litkicks Message Board Archive

I can see why they chose this haiku,

Posted to Indies




it's quite good. If I may elaborate:

"The stars are falling" - brings to mind little bright uneven specks coming down from the sky,

"And freezing as they come down" - tells the reader they are cold and therefore, probably snow...

"landing on my coat" - Now the specks are right up close to you; they started up in the sky and they progressed toward you as your poem progressed, and we see that indeed these are snowflakes and they make contact with the cloth, which reminds us of a very tactile senation.

They are pretty like stars, they are descending closer to me, the cold little flakes touch my coat.

I love it.