Litkicks Message Board Archive

I agree with Lawless...

Posted to Haiku Board

This is a fun poem, but not haiku.

If you want to make it a haiku, focus on two images. Simile, metaphor, etc. tend to be avoided in modern Western haiku (for good or bad, I don't know. My jury's still out on that one.) Also, try and avoid the cliches of this piece (tennis without a net, etc.) and come up with more fresh images.