Litkicks Message Board Archive

A few comments

Posted to Poetry




The following cluster of lines really grabbed me:

"I've lost my vertigo
on it's stage of stones

There's no-one left
just the witnesses
the victim
& me"

It's fresh and surprising.

I LOVE the ending. I admire poems that end on a strong phrase--perhaps the only thing harder that ending a poem is beginning one--and by the way, the beginning is quite good.

Also, I got a kick out of the ego thing--the title of my upcoming book is "Ego Scriptures," and the first four lines of the title poem are:

"These are my simple songs
About ego making me fly
Too close to the sun,
And dropping me
Like an aging prima donna."