Litkicks Message Board Archive

Well...

Posted to Poetry




it's better, but panic is a bit too vague. Try and find something tangible.

Though yes, the change has indeed improved the poem.

Last stanza--ache is stronger, and more tangible. So that's good. I'm curious if "still left" is necessary. It leaves the reader wonder "still left from what"? Crying? The pain that caused the crying? Not sure about that last line, but yes, "ache" is much stronger.