Litkicks Message Board Archive

How to steal a woman's heart

Posted to Poetry

No dear, a few trifling pears won't do
Don't be a schmuck, don't be a putz
Just read my book - results improved!
Technique, boy, is the secret
Of all sailors and oarsmen keen they know
Technique controls the naked heart
Clothes the god of love herself
Yes, even her, the Automedon of love
Be still child, now let me hammer in
The teaching taught to Chiron and all
The descending wild boys ever since
Ha! yes, even bulls can be made to pull a plow
So love can be made to master like a bird
Or a herd of sheep, believe me now
How to steal a woman, yes, let's see
Tell me, have you found your love
And she loves you not, you say?
You must tell her with your eyes
"You are the one, only you"
Learn first, where she is to be found
Like the fowler or the hunter and his net
Look around, beauty dazzles everywhere
Skip the worldwide trek, look behind
Your shoulder, look up, stars at night
The ocean fish, the birds in sky
Squint your roving eye and pick the one
You want, say to her, "You are the one"
Stroll down the collonade, go to church
That's right, many there will be found
And her father will smile upon you there
Skip the courts, don't plead your case
Other hunting grounds abide, test the
Curving tiers of theatres, that's where
She can be found, like bees from flower
To flower, ants going down in columns
Swarm to the games in such crowds
The Sabine daughters and their fathers
At the signal given, you choose and
Spring upon your maiden, be the king
Let her be your Queen choosing you
Lay hot hands and kiss her lips

and if that don't work
Call me back...
I know some other tricks