Litkicks Message Board Archive


Posted to Poetry

thought that it lacked a bit of feeling, just because when reading it i didn't get a feeling like she deserved that, but i don't know, maybe that was what you were going for. i really liked this line: An act of passion, fuse me into her ribcage and parts please. i think maybe it's a little too short-cut, maybe you could elaborate more. i think that this could be really good if you could try to get the reader to feel what the speaker felt. i love that, when a poem drives deep into my guts and i walk away feeling a little destroyed.