I broke it down for him:
this coming up weekend is the last i'm going to spend here in San Diego. from now on i will be at home in Los Angeles or travelling back and forth getting my things settled. i detach from work april 8th. and i'm taking some two weeks house-hunting leave before that. italy. 2 years. i'm not going to have time...
"i'm getting a nose job before i go" i blurted.
"what??" he looked at me shocked. "what for?"
"i hate my nose. i want to make it a little...thinner/finer"
he steamed. "you're going to pay a whole mess of money for something you're not even going to like. okay, do it if it makes you happy. but i'm telling you... it's going to change your features."
he got quiet
"next thing you know you're going to want other stuff. a boob job"
"i do" i told him
"for what? why are you so insecure? i love your breasts. they're firm. the nipples. i love the color. don't do anything to them." i rolled my eyes. he continued "i wasn't talking about your butt the other day. i meant women who have really excessive butts. not you. you have a nice ass"
i blushed. couldn't look at him. i'm not good with compliments. he noticed.
"maybe i shouldn't be telling you these things. i'm going to miss you"
i miss him already. all these days since our argument i've been feeling so frustrated "i be wanting to cry" i told him. so i was a virgin forever. i even went a year without doing anything my last time. it's not the same anymore. he reached for my breast. "you like sex, don't you?" i nodded. i do. but not just with anybody. it takes me years to get comfortable with people on that level. i kissed him. he said how we all have insecurities and for him it was... his lips. ha, ha! silly. i love his lips. what they do to me. i kissed him. we had sex in the car. someday i'm going to look back at this and laugh.