she's to meet me at the gym at 11:00. kickboxing today. after which we're gonna go do our income taxes.
my roommate and i were just talking about her. last night. Tesla. his ex-wife. him being my ex-best friend. but the conversation didn't start with either of them. actually some guy asked about me. montgomery. my roommate works with him. montgomery is the ex-lover. i saw montgomery too not long ago. he's back to himself. "he's really... nice" my roommate pointed out. she never thinks anyone much is nice. "i know" i said. i told her about our 5 minutes time back. montgomery and i talked like we had before... before he got with my old friend. "Tesla and i are hanging out too" i told my roommate about the ex-wife. how unbelievable that was to me. i never had anything against her. she simply never gave me a second look once she logged me down as his friend. we work together now. i even danced with her in her house. that broke the ice between us. salsa. and alcohol. i actually felt comfortable with her holding me too. i'm never comfortable dancing with someone holding me. lol!
my roommate and i talked about how we're all different these days. how our ex-friend brought the worst out in us. "i became emotional." i told my roommate. "i'm not even emotional!" she laughed. "you're not. you loved him. people get under your skin that way." he did. "Don't get it twisted" she continued "Tesla asked me why i was roomming with you when she first found out you were living with me. i told her her i don't know what he said about you, but you are not the nutcase he made you out to seem. Tesla can be so stuck up but she's very loyal once she sees you as a friend. i told her she would like you if she only got to know you." now we're friends.
all of us, his ex's- in one way or another. burned bridges. so many other people i see too now that went through him seem so different from those days. none of them bad people. what was it about him that stirred discontent and unrest among us? animosity. one person. how did he have that type influence? power? one way or another we allowed him to enter us and he turned into a virus in our systems. i was a nutcase. we all became destructive. with him. not his fault. we allowed it. love. we loved him. all of us. in our own ways. he thought us worthless. somehow we're better after the experience though. better people. stronger. any combination of us these days makes for a winning team. we bond now like survivors would after a catastrophe. marked by it. more mature. our minds sharpened. we don't talk about it. him. on the regular. omen hush. too painful. ashamed. of who we were. and yet, a bond between us. a scar we all share. unexplainable.
kickboxing today. me. and tesla. while my roommate and montgomery work together on their ship. unbelievable.