Absurdist Party Donations
we have mechanisms within the party to handle all levels of donations
if you donate $1.95 to $100 you are in the Pioneer Club
for this you get a hotdog picnic
If you donate $100.95 to $500 you are in the Eagles Club
for this you get hamburgers and a three minute speech from The Candidate
If you donate $500.95 to $100,000, you are in the Platinum Eagles Club
you get to ride in the golfcart with The Candidate and get your picture taken holding his nine iron.
If you donate $100,000.95 to $3,000,000 you are in the Real Suckers Club
you get to sleep with Candidates campaign aides and get tax breaks.