then perhaps you'll enjoy this story
back around the days when Roman Emperors were killing each other, this wizard with a long beard invented condoms from sheep intestines. He billed himself as a wizard, but he was really a slick medicine man from across the hills, where he used to sell bottles of wine mixed with cocaine for headaches and menstral cramps. So he's hot-dogging his way into the emperor's castle, see.
"Get a load of this," as he hands a condom over the the emperor's assistant (you don't hand nothing to the emperor himself).
The emperor's assistant doesn't understand, you dig, he blows the condom up like a balloon. This is what he's seen the clown jester do from time to time. He rubs it on his hair and it charges up with the electrons and sticks to the wall like magic! They give the wizard a job.
Years later, Lewis Carol wrote the Wizard of Alice.