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Posted to Haiku Board
by pottygok on 2004-03-31 19:08:00
:Mine is probably too compressed and idiosyncratic. I think
:for yours, maybe the opposite, too broad. 'Spring :begins'
:is a traditional way but maybe too much so. 'Begins' isn't
:such a colorful or energetic word here.
However, the most accurate, as it was, indeed, the first day of spring. Would capitalizing the season help?
:An image that indicates the season might work better, one
:that, as you say, resonates with the second image. I like
:the rest, just think it's thick midline; what about simply
:moving 'sticks' down a line?
I had been considering doing this and, if I send this out, I will suggest it to the editors as a possible change.
Thank you.
