usenthatomom! are you crazy????, a confession
im sitting here at three a.m. and its too late to call anyone, so i'm playing guitar and writing. That's mostly what i do. i smoke way too many cigarettes. (giggling, i'm putting out a cigarette i just lit.)
i was thinking about what you said last night and i hope you understand how much i love you. you are my oldest friend in life. big smile. and i couldn't have asked for a better mother.
just sending you snippets of writing gathered recently.
"sans "i" capitalized
peace is a cracked mirror safely swept away
fear: its not that you live long enough,
but that you live too long
one kleisha at a time...
confessions in a mud puddle,
erased capital eye
cracked mirror safely
longing for gone
you are the meaning of life."
the above is a poem i wrote about a year ago. some of the words which you probably don't understand are "sans" which in french is "without", and "kleisha", which is i think a sanskrit word for something like "sin" or "attachment" "desire". in much of eastern philosophy desire is the root or cause of suffering. the way out of suffering is to learn not to desire, even the air you breath, but!, also, to be thankful and content. lose all ego, which in christian terms is like, "surrendering all to God" In eastern terms they don't say god, well, the buddhists don't, but rather god is all and all is one. the way i understand zen, by not making god a concept, god becomes real. words are useless.
and yet i type away.