Litkicks Message Board Archive

The door

Posted to Action Poetry

Ended struggle…
Overwhelming despair…

They will be here soon
To make it all official
They will knock on the door
They will knock hoping you or I will unlock it
They will call our names
And summon us to open…

I can see it all so clear
The way you walked it
Without making any noise
Because you saw me there
And thought I was sleeping
The way you closed that door
Without knowing that when you unlock it
Nothing will ever be the same again…

It didn’t take long for you to realize
But you didn’t scream
You didn’t say my name
You didn’t dial 911 or ask for help
Because it was all so natural, wasn’t it?
Because we both knew this was the way
You’d start living again.

And now you’re sitting here, by me
You’ve washed away the saliva and the blood
And you so sweetly arranged my hair on the pillow
Your hands are shaking, mine are clutched
You stare at me, I stare at the infinite.

I know you can’t understand
And by the way you’re sitting on that chair
So lost, so hurt,
I can tell you think it’s all your fault.
But please stop those tears from falling down your face
Because I am finally free
I have destroyed what destroyed me
It was I baby.
Don’t blame it on the agenda
And on the tasks that will never be fulfilled
Don’t mind the photos stained by my tears
And don’t remember all the responsibilities
I always failed to carry out.

I was the mistake
I made my world lack any reason or rhyme
I almost did the same with yours.

All this had to stop.
The end came slow and painful
And I made sure nobody would be there to help me.
But would you be proud of me
If you knew that
I didn’t cry
And I didn’t regret it one moment?
Cos I knew I deserved this
Only by knowing that I was chocking
Only by feeling the hot blood rushing up my mouth
Only by turning my body into this unbearable pain
Would I stand any chance of being forgiven
For my failure to reflect that beauty in you.

You go open them that door
Cos from that moment on
Nothing will ever be the same again
Trust me…
It will be so much better.