i can't sleep

i've tried it all. come to think of it, i haven't been sleeping too well lately. as soon as i close my eyes, a billion thoughts come to mind; so many things i need to do. freaking clock with it's tic, toc, tic, toc!! crossing off precious seconds...two weeks. i have less than two weeks before i leave for europe.

why am i not happy??

i can't find my father a place to live. i already talked about this so i'll leave well enough alone. i'll talk about my day.

my roommate's mother was visiting from Texas. today, we took her to the airport. it was a rough goodbye for my roommate. her mom is recovering from cancer. she beat it! the lady lost her breast but she's cancer-free from what we know. now she's dealing with other stuff: arthritis in her leg, laryngitis. my friend worries.

it occurred to my roommate to run to get us some Starbucks from one of those booths in the airport. i really wanted some also. her mom was browsing for last-minute souvenirs in a little shop so i told my friend to go to Starbucks; i would stay there with her mom. and the double stroller. my friend has 2 babies: one is 2 years old, the other 10 months. a minute later, her mom walked out the store and decided to get in line for her boarding gate. an outrageous line had formed in a matter of minutes; she was flying SouthWest where it's "first come first served" from what she was told. i waited for my roommate at the same spot.

my roommate panicked when i told her her mom was in line for her gate already. she was holding 3 beverages; handed me 2, her purse and ran to give her mom her drink. so there i am with the double stroller, the 2 drinks, 2 purses...and her younger baby started crying.

the airport was packed. the week end, Spring Break... the baby was crying. he's sick. teething, we think. they both have colds too. people were beginning to stare. the baby wasn't taking his bottle. i wasn't near anything were i could set down the drinks and not have people trip on them; i couldn't push the stroller holding them. and i was not about to take my eyes off the babies to walk about either. i thought my friend was going to turn around and come back for us as soon as she handed her mom her coffee. but when i saw her round the corner, she didn't come back.

so i'm standing in front of this souvenirs store when a guy came trying to get around me pushing some lady in a wheelchair. not just any lady. she must've weighed 500 lbs. i'm not joking either. poor lady had a special chair bigger than i've ever seen and she barely fit in it too. you have got to be kidding me!! ran through my head. we couldn't get around with the stroller that's why i was in the predicament i was in at that moment...i felt for her. Lord knows her story. i felt for her and the twiggy boy pushing her. but i couldn't believe my luck. i waited for a minute; my roommate nowhere in sight. the baby wailed.

some people got off their seats a few steps from me. i think they saw me, the lady in the wheel chair and heard the baby. i put my roommate's purse and my own in the stroller between the babies. i ran to drop off the drinks; ran to get the babies. took the one baby out the stroller; he calmed down. my roommate came. she was teary-eyed. "Let's go" she told me. her mom was gone.

my friend assumed her mom had said bye to us. that's why she panicked and ran after her. neither her mom nor i knew non-passengers aren't allowed onto the boarding gates. to wait with the passengers for their plane to arrive. the lady had to go.

it was a hectic, rainy day. i lost my purse.

my roommate took and carried the baby that was crying while i pushed the stroller with the other baby and coffee drinks. when we neared the car, i pulled her purse out to get the keys to open the car. i put the purse on my shoulder; grabbed the baby i was pushing and put him in his car seat. she packed the stroller into the trunk. my purse fell out.

it was a couple hours later before we realized the purse was missing. we were going to go buy something, i looked in the stroller. nothing. we went back to the airport. gone.

i had my soc security, military id, checks, atm, blockbuster card, check card... stuff in that purse. i was upset.

i didn't tell my friend anything much. a million thoughts went through my head. she saw my purse in the stroller; i told her it was there when she asked for hers. right before i pulled hers out to get the car keys. i didn't get mine because it was bulkier and stuck in the stroller.

not so stuck.

i wasn't mad at her. just panicking because i don't have time to replace the stuff i lost. and get an apartment for my dad. i have less than 2 weeks!! i gave myself a tension headache.

it was all so terrible. the airport is a ways away from our apartment. traffic was pathetic. her baby started coughing in the car. threw up. cried. his cold obviously worsening. when we got to the parking lot, my friend looked for my purse frantically. unsuccessfully.

*sigh*

back at our apartment, i gave my roommate a hug. told her not to worry. all the stuff is replaceable. plus, those things... happen. maybe not to everybody, but they happen to me. and nobody does it on purpose to loose a purse. she kept saying how she's so clueless; should've noticed. my poor roomy. she had enough with telling her mom bye. she has other stresses but those are for her to talk about.

everything's gonna be alright. i know it is.




i can't sleep though. sucks.