Litkicks Message Board Archive

The low spark of high heeled boys....

Posted to Action Poetry

...spins like manic restitution playing out
brash fantasies of some sort of
orgiastic exchange between and betwixt the lines of
harmoic destitution careening thru beauty

and i sit in star contrast deadly
like SARS like some sort of myopic virus
eating away
at myself the way she wants
me too
kiss him
fuck him
suck him
what does it matter
never me
never for love
just abuse and degradation
let him fuck you in the ass
and i can't even get one little kiss with
a slightly parted mouth
to taste the essence that used to feed me
like wine and bread
brought down from desert plateaus after
forty days of fasting
and i could've devoured you
and now i just want
to slap yr face
and wring yr neck like a goddamn towel
soaking and stinking of sweat and cum and blood
from jerking myself off raw far too often
pining for you missing you
dying for you
drinking for you and smoking for you
and loving and caring
and i dont want you to drink yrself
starve yrself to death

i wept like a child
when yr lack of innocence was re-affirmed
with his stinking burnt crack pipe fingertips
his powdered cocaine nose
raping you
and i know what
it must
have done
and then done to me
over and over again

i am chiseled in ink
like an alabaster freak show
underneath the boardwalk of coney island
daydreams rinsed clean by polluted saltwater
and sustained by the erosion of beaches littered with beer cans and spent
and im dirty
and im filthy with love
with you with myself

and what does it take to swim into the ocean
like a trap door angel in a
dusty sawdust laden barroom dancefloor menagerie
like a queen on the throne of a blackjacked
im doing parlor tricks
and falling on my face
and i pay for the privilige of yr laughter
at my expense
i pay for the goddamn excuses that you spoonfeed
to me
and i swallow all so willingly
like dt'd wino in a back alley Humvee of a cardboard box
sipping down Nyquil and O'Douls by
the case
its my own fault
its my own tragedy
and you've never heard it
you've never listened
not that you'd care
why should you when i try so hard to pretend i dont
yr all i ever loved
and im dying for you