the nature of this poem makes me think that someone might come by and encourage you to write it in haiku form. maybe not. anyway, my point is that you've created a simple snapshot composed of two images, and the second one clashes so well with the first one that it manages to hold interest while not making the piece incoherent. (i'm mostly intrigued by the silent closing of the door.) congratulations on working so well with only fifteen words. not a bad job at all.