Litkicks Message Board Archive

lines

Posted to Poetry




I agree that those are good lines. The poem as it stands feels too much like prose broken up into lines arbitarily. What you might do is add some rhetoric to give it some patterning; then it won't seem so much like prose, but as stylized prose. You do this to some extent already, using the repetition at the beginnings (anaphora) to introduce new parts. A little more of this would go a long way.