Litkicks Message Board Archive

that makes sense

Posted to Poetry




i felt that the last stanza might move too quickly, but i wasn't sure about how to make it work without making the poem far too long. "pink" was meant to work with "pale" (in reference to "red" and its significance in relation to her frown/lips), and the stanza wasn't meant to excho the first--rather, the first sentence of the last stanza was supposed to echo the first to make the visual imagery more credible (more pertinent to the message), but the last of the last stanza was meant to be a scene of throwing up one's hands and giving up trying to find any sort of compatibility with the people judging her.

that sentence was far too long.

i've really enjoyed your responses... thank you.