Litkicks Message Board Archive

thank you, hester

Posted to Poetry

i don't really like "speared" either. after editing that stanza to death, i finally yet reluctantly settled on "speared". and yes, i thought of smeared, but not after i changed the direction of the rest of the piece to what it now is.

actually, the idea of "permanence of glass" is meant to be ironic here, since the person calling the subject "permanent like glass" is the person breaking the glass and making her, therefore, not permanent at all. i like the connotations you get from the image of glass, and the permanence you get actually surfaces later, when her shattered image (from the shattered mirror, figuratively) comes together in her mosaic rendering of it: her attempts to piece herself back together. the calling of that mosaic "poetry" is supposed to tie into the lines that are the edges of broken glass and also tie into the idea that the girl is rather obscure, as some metaphor tends to be.

i didn't mean to rant on. i started enjoying typing too much.

i'm going to revise this thing. i write so seldomly that i'm going to really milk this thing for all it's worth.