Litkicks Message Board Archive

Trying (heavily edited)

Posted to Poetry




*I have posted this twice as i have just edited it and wanted it to be looked at afresh, although i messed up by not leaving the unedited version below*

I keep on thinking back,
hoping
for a hammer-blow of realization,
a jolt of recognition to blow me back to myself,
something to sting me to nascent design,
away from my current blueblack turmoil--
this emasculated plastic body, this dormant
tiptoe mind, this ennervated corpse
tracing useless patterns on the slab--
i try counting leaves on trees,
i try rearranging my socks and my poems,
my looping death concepts;
i try to recollect dates and names and faces,
i jot down notes, i paint in oils,
i turn the volume down when the ads come on,
i try to feel
for the tell-tale signs of a friend;
i try, i swear to you,
in wider moments,
observing
from my bedroom window at night
the movements of foxes
as they scream and run and compete
for the spaces out there in the darkness.