Litkicks Message Board Archive

I like this

Posted to Poetry

and I like most of your stuff, for its authentic "I am right there" immediacy. You have a powerful voice, when you use it. You perceive. You see what's there and you report it, in your own beautiful words, with an almost completely fresh angle.

The only criticism I have of this poem: look for ways to shorten it. Like most of your best pieces, this is a mood piece, something almost lyric, but very powerful. The shorter you can make it, the more effect it will have, but ... it has lots of effect right NOW, too ...

Good job ...