The question should be asked in both directions
How does everything fall into place with the eye trained to perceive the negative?
It's fair to ask, especially here, just as your question is fair. But add another factor: Hatred. Can your hatred influence your ability to see the positive? Can it consume any positive only for you to spit it into the drain with your anger? Can it fog your perception of the good accumulating from the deeds of those you oppose on a front that you hang dependence of yours and/or others on? Albeit with good intent.
Perhaps the answer doesn't lay in the theories of a classroom or in an online forum. Perhaps the answers are first inside you. Only then can you see how you expose yourself to the world around you, and how you experience the truth, any truth you submerse yourself in.
What makes losing so dreadful/painful/tearful is the outcome itself (say a genocide like in Cambodia or a communist state that hurts more than it helps and is only doomed to fail its people and the world). Of course one could argue that's just a perception, not a reality. But it's not the desire to win itself that's the cause; AS LONG AS that desire to win has come second to not only good intentions, but the likelihood of achieving said goals and the appropriate considerations for the risks of failure.
One of the overwhelming qualities of American resilience and success has been optimism. Blind at times? Sure. But without that tendency, with the acceptance of it's imperfection, the resilience and success (yes our version) would not be there today. This nation would have already imploded. Instead it's survived numerous leadership assassinations, intense scandals, intense times of economic hardship, many wars won, an intense civil war, and one lost war, and now terrorist attacks killing thousands.
In the end are you FOR something, or merely AGAINST something right now? Don't answer that too fast. That question requires a much deeper self-analysis than meets the eye.
Your question is just as fair as mine. Thanks