Litkicks Message Board Archive

Presidential debates:2004

Posted to Poetry and Politics

Seems everyone has great anticipation for when the debates between Pres. Bush and challenger Kerry begin. And though I really find politics a big hairyassed boring drag, I too can't help but look forward to them squaring off mano y mano......but, come on, why not add a new twist to it? Something different-outside the box and all that crap. So, I was just staring at the floor a couple of minutes ago and came up with this novel concept for a televised debate between the incumbant and the challenger. Okay, hear me out here..

I propose that exactly 60 minutes before the first debate starts, each contestent orally ingest 750 micrograms of pure pharmaceutical LSD25(Sandoz,if available, Owsley's will do as a second choice. I'm really curious how both men would hold up trying to get their points across as the psychoactive substance invades their brains thus taking the serious business of presidential debates to a whole other level.
Now, we all know how Bush can murder the English language and get his thoughts and speech mixed up to coin some memorable quotes-but, with the righteous acid coursing through his melon would he start sounding like across between Aldous Huxley and Jethro Bodine? Bush has a reputation as a former hard core partying frat boy-will those experiences in the days of gonebye glory come back to serve him well, or will be reduced to a gibbering drawling heap of nonsense.
And Kerry-sure sure, a very experienced orator with the official stentorian tones of a genuine US senator to his credit. A strong, confident, decisve and commanding speaker...But, how will he do under the influence of a good dose of good old Uncle Sid? Will that stoic lantern jawed well coiffed visage keep it together enough to make sense, or would he be driven to sit on the floor with his back to the podium, gazing slackjawed into the harsh white studio lights while repeatedly moaning, "Ohhh wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, man ohhh wowwwwwwwwwww"?