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Cringing

by Jamelah Earle on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 04:37 pm
Being A Writer, Internet Culture, News
1. Let me just get the important news out of the way first -- I heart Mr. Darcy and I have the coffee mug to prove it. Go ahead, covet.

2. G-Unit Books? Yes, indeedy. Considering the fact that my birthday isn't until September, it may be too early to mention the fact that I've got my eye on The Ski Mask Way, but, you know, keep it in the back of your mind until fall. Also, in other Fiddy news, 50 Cent will be introducing a line of condoms. This is literary because you have to be creative with safe sex like you have to be creative with getting kids to read. I just can't make this stuff up.

3. Literary theory vs. biology in a steel cage. Who do you think would win?

4. Feministing picks a bone with a recent Bookslut item, We Don't Need Another Anthology.

5. Remember your adolescent shame? Of course you do; you're still trying to live it down. Well, instead of that, how about submitting examples of that really earnest and intense poetry you wrote in your math notebook for publication? The Cringe book will be published next year and is accepting submissions.


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5 reponses to "Cringing"

by relentlessaaron on Thursday, January 11, 2007 02:59 pm

G-Unit Author Speaks!I honestly can't wait until my books are released! It's this 24-hour hard-on I have, wanting SO bad to reach as many people as possible with my thoughts and feelings as they are portrayed through my characters and their actions. Stay tuned for the next level of G-G-G-G-G-G-Unit!

by Milton on Thursday, January 11, 2007 05:20 pm

Oh, be niceOkay, so I admit the whole concept of G-Unit Books feels a bit ridiculous (and that cover art, yikes!), but I say more power to them. As much of a cultural force as it is (and I would argue that is on-par, musically, with the late '60s pop music renaissance), hip-hop has never legitimately spread to other artistic media. The Last Poets are close, though they were more progenitors of hip-hop than products, and Def Poetry Jam seems to be, unfortunately, defunct. I think hip-hop deserves to have its own literature, as well as its own movies beyond execrable Eminem autobiopics.I'll probably hate "Ski Mask Way," sure, but I'm hardly its target audience. I detest 50 Cent, after all. But there's always the chance that this could prompt Nas to start his own publishing company, or Talib Kweli, or Mike Skinner. And that I'd love to see.(The Brian Boyd article is dead-on, if somewhat poorly-written. I'm writing this as a disillusioned, formerly aspiring lit professor, understand, but that "English and related disciplines will continue to be the laughingstock of the academic world that they have been for years because of their obscurantist dogmatism and their coddled and preening pseudo-radicalism" line had me from hello. Most university literary criticism has little to do with scholarship anymore, and almost nothing to do with actual literature.)

by jamelah on Thursday, January 11, 2007 10:35 pm

Actually, I think that if anything gets people to buy books and read them, then it's a good thing. I don't even make jokes about Oprah (though, admittedly, I tend to laugh when other people do).I read the lit theory article with some interest (kind of, I mean, I think I might've momentarily dozed off somewhere in the middle) since I made it through life in an English department and came out with a degree, the value of which is negligible, but that's neither here nor there.

by um on Sunday, January 14, 2007 01:22 am

why did 50c keep 50c in his condom ?so he could call if he couldn't come of course

by relentlessaaron on Sunday, January 14, 2007 08:12 am

WORKIN' WITH A BUCK FITTY"WORKIN' WITH A BUCK FITTY"by Relentless Aaron the next G-Unit Author (forthcoming book/this summer: Derelict) I think this is amazing for a popular artist to drive the concept straight into the belly of pop culture. I'm an author of 32 novels, all of them written over the past ten years, and I've made some headway in the local, regional, and mainstream press. I've sold over 200,000 copies since November 2003 (when I came home from that 7-pack they put on me), Been on the cover of the A&L section on the New York Times, TIME magazine, as well as the The New York Daily News, The Hollywood Reporter, Publisher's Weekly, The Library Journal, NPR and ABC World News. There are more relevant and positive remarks about my books on the web than negative and sensational. And, overall, the critics who are substantial, with substantial backgrounds and real jobs have accepted and praised my work. I did all of this (mostly) myself by being out there in the streets, selling these novels like my life depended on it. I've even hired an army of young women to go out there with and without me to do the same. I've wrapped trucks, hoisted moving billboards, hired street teams, and marched outside of sold out concerts. However, nothing makes reading popular like this, and nothing will quite match the mob of followers that 50 Cent can call upon at any time or place. Regardless of all the work I've done to create and grow a brand, NEVER have I enjoyed the fanfare, book sales and press that 50 Cent received in ONE DAY, on January 4th at Borders. It sort of makes my climb feel like a waste of time! But, there's a catch 22; because I don't think I would have been recognized by this partnership if I didn't do all I've done. It's great that 50 & his partnered agents and publishers at Pocket Books, Simon & Schuster and MTV have acknowledged my craft, and that I can now enjoy some of that popularity that has been missing from my archive of accomplishments. At the end of the day, this man has mined the very best writer and he's coupled it with his own power and money. Now, all those who have never heard of me ultimately WILL hear of me, but in a loud and relevant, and even important way. Can anyone hate on a man who's encouraging young people to read? And do you think for a minute that any of the stuff he publishes will be redundant or without some ethics and moral grounds embedded in the stories? People, if you look at a good story (or, even a good rap song) there is a beginning, a middle and an end. Nobody (50 Cent, included) is gonna waver from a concept that has been working for generations.And, it's not just books folks. I already have two and three movie projects in the works, before the 50 Cent deal. And yet, the work I do with him will also be made into movies; likely more powerful budgets, and marketing. So, I'm working at the top and the bottom of the literary book and movie chains. Wow. So, when it comes to feeding the kids, putting them through school, and putting clothes on their backs, I gotta do the smartest thing possible with my time. Thanks to 50 Cent, I will not only have my previous books read, but, I'll be able to write WAY into the future, so that my GREAT grandchildren (as well as the world of literature) can enjoy the fruit of my labors.Now, that I've said that, how about reading a little of my new work (copywritten, but unpublished, except for here, of course. :-)Venus and I were supposed to enjoy a safe evening at home this New Years Eve. We popped open a bottle of Alize', she slipped into some hot, striped booty shorts and a tight tank top, while I sat there amazed at my computer, working on my report for my college journalism class. The writing is supposed to be an in-depth look at the phenomenon of "certain" urban fiction books that behold stories of incest, as well as how much these books are endeared within the inner city. But my report took a detour now that my girlfriend walked in the room. MORE OF THIS EXCERPT on my website

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