hoo boy1. Jay-Z2. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and Moby-Dick3. Moby-Dick4. death5. Dan Brown!!6. The Dukes of Hazzard7. Shake Your Bon Bon8. Austria9. Sword10. Pop TartsBonus -- Celebrity Novelist Showdown:Macaulay Culkin ... because he has all of those clever tricks with the TV and marbles and such.

alrighty then1. Jay-Z2. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and Moby-Dick3. Moby-Dick4. JT Leroy5. Hanks6. The Dukes of Hazzard7. Shakespeare 8. Austria9. Sword10. Pop TartsCelebrity Novelist Showdown:Macaulay Culkin. Seriously, duh.

No holds barred grudge match1. PennJay2. Apollo 183. Dick4. Glenn Frey5. Bill Hicks6. tossup between Claire Booth Luce and Shirley Temple Bassey7. Cinnabon (yum!)8. Austerlitz (boo, Napoleon, boo!)9. Swordfish10. Lord of the faux-Greek Flies

Now that's how to play the game, playa.

memes r me1. Jamelah, I *know* you picked this one to frustrate me. Well, I'll pick Nietzsche, because I have to.2. The Squid and the Whale bought a LitKicks blog ad last year, and those other books did no such thing. Easy choice.3. Yes to the white whale, no to the white musician.4. I read Burroughs' book and didn't love it that much. I didn't read Frey's book and don't plan to. I'll take John Updike.5. Dan Brown.6. The Dukes of Hazzard, just to make Caryn happy.7. Um. Yeah.8. Actually, Auster mentioned in "The Invention of Solitude" that his last name is etymologically related to Austria. So I'll just say "yes".9. Blog.10. Donna Tartt.

Oh please, I think you're lying -- Nietzsche never checked the bounce, but because of #6, you are forgiven, barely. PS: Auster is no Austria, that's for sure.

A lot of things under heaven & earthRight, then.1. Jay-Z2. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea3. As mammals, they both have teets4. Burroughs rises above the Frey5. Tom Joad and John Brown6. Shirley Hazzard7. Shakespeare, hands down8. 'Austerweiss, Austerweiss, every morning you greeeet me . . .'9. Pen10. Pop Tarts11. And as the uncredited voice in Chelsea Walls - Ethan Hawk!

Yes, I did do that to frustrate you. AND YOU PICKED NIETZSCHE?!?!? Are you sure Jay-Z isn't going to shoot you out behind the Taco Bell for this?I'm just saying.Also, I don't believe Paul Auster is a natural habitat for edelweiss.

Rather thumositous aren't you?

Ah, Macaulay Culkin . . . he taught a generation of children how to inflict grievous bodily harm with red hot door knobs and run-away tool chests.

Yes, but you don't have a Squid and the Whale tattoo. Or a Dan Brown tattoo, for that matter.

Dukes of Hazzard or Kings of Leon

power?1- Niet-che2- Moby Dick3- Moby Dick4- ?5- vacant6- I only remember orange cars crashing and jumping and a blond guy: it must be Dukes of Hazzard.7- Shakespeare and Bomb

Kings of Leon have a catchy song or two, but there's no General Lee.

Performance anxiety1. That's a choice?2. Refer to #13. Moby. I saw his house on "Cribs." Now that's a shower.4. Burroughs5. Hanks, because I've seen Dan Brown eat a mini corn cob. Boy's got no game.6. Roscoe Peeeeeeee Coltraine7."And Master, sir, do not forget to specify, when time and place shall assert, that I am an ass." 8. Following in the ass theme, since my governor is from Austria, Auster wins by default.9. Both involve bloodletting. It's a draw.10. Tarts. Strumpets. I like them all.Culkin. He creeps me out so much I almost like him.

The thing about Jamelahis, she doesn't post as often as Levi or Caryn, but she gets more replies.

Yes, Jamelah, I did struggle with this one for several minutes. Then the logic became clear to me. If Jay-Z didn't exist, the world would seem an empty place but we'd still have Biggie, Nas, 50, Cam'ron. If Fred didn't exist ... well, there is no other Fred.And, yes, Bill, you are right -- but a paying advertiser is also right, always right.

Those are some of the best answers yet. Funny and thoughtful!I fancied myself a bit of a strumpet, actually, when I slipped into a pair of daisy duke shorts this past Halloween. But no one wants to hear about that.

Lies!

Jamelah=tequila=happy place. It's a no brainer.

yeah

missed this one: Nathan Detroit vs. TB Macaulaytough one -- I'd have say neither, and declare my favorite celebrity author to be Immanuel Kant.

bill,i don't do these pair choice things because i always see the in-between-answers and can not force a choice.but about these pair choices. It's mindless chatter plain and simple and the crowd is starving for it. Dinner bell rings and we all come running. Note to Levi. Mindless Chatter is the unwashed masses waiting to rally round the well.

Choices1. Nietzche...anyone who says Jay-Z is just holding on to some dying dream of becoming a writer for Rolling Stone. "'Holla Back Girl' is a delicious piece of brain eating bubble gum pop drivel"? Do you really want to write for RS?2. Moby Dick. Do you think Jay would have been freaked out by Moby's whiteness too?3. I think Moby Dick himself would have been freaked out by Moby's whiteness.4. James Dickey5. Tom Hanks because Dan Brown should never win anything ever except my undying wrath, or maybe in a better world the business end of some redneck's pent up homoerotic frustration (maybe Mr. Dickey could rewrite Deliverance for that scene). 6. Umm...I really can't stop thinking about Dan Brown being buggered at gunpoint...help.7. Shakespeare because he is a delicious piece of bubble gum brain eating...is this a rock lobster that I see before me? it has claws instead of hands. 8. I guess it's a tie...they both crush Dan Brown who still, in the back of my mind, is tied firmly to a log.9. Pen.10. Pop Tarts, cause you don't have to wait 10 years for a new flavor.

I may be wrongbut isn't Moby related to wotsisname, the guy who wrote moby dick? yes, i think he is, but what is his name, jesus, how can i not know this? (glances ashamedly over at bookshelf) Herman Melville.

There goes Asher!Let's get him!"La vie longue la r

i was never good at tests but...1)i heard nietzche ran with a silent but big stick crowd 2)two for the price of one can't beat that price (even if i dont need it 3)Pass4)which it was glenn frey or william burroughs5)hanks6)dont call me shirley7) he's in the alley so i'll stick with him8)where ever there's surf you'll find bodi9)that's an eazy one 10)i'm in the mood for a pop tart (wonder what that's all about)bonus question i could go on a filibuster here but.... hawke by M.J.s nose

did someone say mindless chatter and tequila sounds like the new riders are back in town

Bil, what the hell does thumositous mean? I looked it up and it doesn't register as a word?

Number NineYou know a friend once gave me a gift - being the fabulous author/writer that I am - of a pen that had a sword in it. Actually, it was more like an exacto knife, but I'm not picky.Anyway, it's my favorite pen and to this day I do all my longhand with that pen/sword. It's so cool.

One thing I think most of us agree on: Pop-Tarts rule!

So, when I get your book in the mail, will it contain cutting satire or sharp observations? I ordered A Voice Above the Din last week.

You are correct, Sir!Here is an excerpt from People Magazine (I know, it makes me seem bourgeois to quote from People Magazine; what can I say?)."Richard Melville Hall, 28, is the great-great-grandnephew of Moby Dick author Herman Melvile, whose own personal melodrama purportedly included living briefly among cannibals in the South Pacific. Nicknamed after the great white whale, Moby is a leviathan in techo-music - the pulsating electronic sound popular at clubs and raves."'I've tried reading Moby Dick about three times,' he says, 'but the long passages where he gets bogged down describing whales just loses me.'"

[ulp!] Busted! Oh, the thumosity of it all!

hehehe . . . I made up that word, but I got the idea from tomcat's webpage which you can access thru his profile by clicking on his name.

No, not much cutting, ha! Though I should pursue that voice 'cause that's how I am in real life.Check your email, I just ordered Time Adjusters. Looking forward to reading it!