Most of it was pretty good.

by Alvaro

Posted to Stories on 2003-11-09 19:17:00

Parent message is 542566
Good intriguing scene, with one striking drawback:

This “what is it that comes between?” (I’m unsure of the exact quote) is a bit melodramatic–focusing so directly on romantic love in so short a space seems kind of tacky for such a heavy subject–use a subtler form of expression instead.

Alvaro