what i had for dinner…

by feral

Posted to Utterances on 2002-06-09 08:36:00


jodie was hungry, so we walked to the hyde park hotel and she ordered a grilled barramundi fillet with salad. i had eaten 17 dexamphetamine tablets for lunch and consequently didn’t have much of an appetite. i got a pint of guinness and a glass of orange juice from the bartender, then returned to the booth. i drained half of the pint while watching a leather jacketed young lothario stare lustfully at my girlfriend…
‘do you know that guy?’ i asked.
‘nope,’ she replied. i finished the pint and walked to the bar… cassanova was still staring.
‘what the fuck are you looking at, fonzie?’
‘man, that chick is hot.’ he answered. i reached over and gripped his nose between the first knuckles of the fore and middle fingers of my right hand…
‘wrong answer,’ i said. i pulled his nose down and he followed it until he was kneeling on the bar-room floor. i leaned down and spoke with a calm voice…
‘if you’re not out of here three seconds after i let go of your nose… i’m gonna drag you out to the carpark and turn you inside out, you’ll be eating through a fucking straw for the next six months.’

i ordered another pint as he ran to the door and jodie shook her head…