Guilty

by razorbladechain

Posted to Poetry on 2002-02-15 06:43:00

That day
I had lost all my senses
To the point where
I couldn’t even see the things
Before me.
So when they asked me
If they could use me
I said
“It doesn’t matter”

So I went where they sent me
And I did what they asked
I played my role
I smiled and laughed
And spoke about my future plans
While outside was getting dark.

After that I went home
I wanted to leave
So I packed all my bags
And tried to render some order
Among all my cramped dreams
I wanted to say good-bye
But instead I put my bags in front of the door
And took my ticket
– a fresh new razor –
Out of its cover
I’m sure I would have caught
The moon to Nirvana
But when I opened the window to fly
I couldn’t.

I played my role
so well
That you believed me
And now
You think you have the right
To see me as I am
Pure shit.

My friend, why didn’t you ask me first?
I would have whispered in your ear
That I’m lost
Among all the characters I’ve played so far.
Then you could have made your choice:
Believe me
Or condemn me even more.
But now…
Tell me, my friend,
Had the story ended that night
Would you have judged me now?

“Confess!”
you say.

I’m guilty.
I’m alive.